If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
