like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
