Where is the hickey?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
