I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize