Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
