at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
