I should be sponsored by Trojan
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
