No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I need water and some morals
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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