he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
