Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
