I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
