you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
