Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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