She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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