Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
