I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
