how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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