Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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