I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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