The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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