I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Enjoy the penises
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
