I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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