Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
