i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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