just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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