JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize