I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
