beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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