too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
