He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
