I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
