I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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