im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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