I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
