we have officially lost it.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
