i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
