Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
