Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
