And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
