Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
