what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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