Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
