If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize