Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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