guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Randomize
