your parents love me but you hate me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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