yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
