Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
