some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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