Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
