And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
