i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
