I wanna passion pit in your ass
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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