The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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