My Higher Power is John Stamos
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
